Body language

One of the meanest thing I do to my body: to let it starve
And: to let it thirst
To let it cry without knowing why

To let it lose its language
The one our tongues took so long to learn
And now I just can not decipher

What does it mean to have a fever?
What does it mean that rivers,
Rivers of salt water released from the springs of the eyes
Could be so searing on the skin of my face

Forgive me, and let us be
Let us be amazed, once more
With the words we’ve known so long

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Anxious Bones

Hey anxious bones, why are you hugging me too tight?
I can’t breathe, you see.
These muscles are struggling, shaking, keeping you upright, standing on the thin ice.
These lungs are only capable to draw the smokes in.
The smokes which came from the ancient bonfire you lit every night before I fall asleep.
The ancestors had gathered and raised their hands above the flames,
chanting,

anxiety, anxiety, anxiety.

Their prayers surround the dreams I flock on my pillows.
The dreams in which I flew to you my distress call.
Where are you, I lost the track of you,
you walked too fast for a pack of ancient anxious bones like you.

Aren’t you that old, from the previous life.
I recognize your eyes so bold, at the dance of fire it came alight
Sitting across with your arms swaying in the air.
We both know our lips moved with no words spoken
Our silence hissing in the air, rattling like the woods kissed by the flame,
Speak of my name, and I will know you now.

Speak of my name, and I will know you now.

Yogyakarta, 2015