Hello! This is the post where I will be showing off my Evanescence Deluxe Album (CD+DVD). Well, it has been centuries since the package I ordered from Musik Plus arrived at my front door. I remembered that afternoon, it was raining and the package man was all wet. God bless him.
I ripped the package open right away and saw my baby deluxe album right in front of me. The glossy cover. The artwork. The title read “Evanescence”. Yeay!!!

So, in this deluxe version, I got four bonus tracks. That makes sixteen tracks total! Not only bonus tracks, but also a DVD of behind the scenes, What You Want MV, and Amy’s comment on some songs.

The price? *cough* It costs *cough* lol. I am just a student anyway. My other Evanescence albums, Fallen and The Open Door, are cassettes. Yup, you read it just right :D

So, because I have had this album since long ago, the songs have already grown on me. Firstly, I was shocked. Hmmm, not really, it was more like, I was a little confused. Just the same feeling that I got when I first played TOD on my cassete player. Evanesence always sounds different in each album, and I think that is so good. Some say that this album is so poppish. I think so, but not really. Geez! Whatever. I think the music is heavy. The band is tight and the sound is so collaborative. Maybe it is not poppish, it is just… aggresive? Haha I don’t have the right word to explain this album.

1. What You Want
The first single that makes you all go… what the _____ (fill in the blank). So many reactions. But in the end, it is a good, fun song. And I am happy that Evanescence has this kind of song. The message is great too. This song makes many people think that Evanescence is going in a pop direction. (Well, I think CMWYS is poppish too)
The drums, the guitar, the atmosphere, it is a very different song compared to Fallen and TOD era.

2. Made of Stone
One of my favorites here! I really like the intro they play in Rock in Rio. This song makes me go headbanging once I hear it :D. And MoS is included in Underworld OST in a remixed version. I love the remix version as well! It’s never enough for you baby, don’t wanna play your game..

3. The Change
I listened to The Change for the first time in YouTube, a live version from Nashville concert. There were many lyrics video, interpreting what Amy’s singing here. Once I got the official lyrics, I started to understand how emotional this song is. One good performance of this song was from Rock on the Range in Winnipeg. So emotional. Say it’s over, but I need you anyway.

4. My Heart is Broken
One of the epic songs in this album, gotta say. Really love the intro; piano and the “I will wander till the end of time…“, too bad they cut it in the radio/pop version. I think the intro is a catchy part of the song. At first, I don’t really like the title and the blatant statement it seems to be. I mean, seriously, my heart is broken? But then it grows on me, and I’m starting to love this song.

5. The Other Side
The bitchy way to sing about death. Says Amy. Yeah, I agree. I like to sing along to this song, but when you understand what the lyrics is about…yeah it is about death, about wanting to be with the one you love..who is already on the other side. Of course it can be interpreted in many other ways. But Amy said herself that it is about death. I love this song, the energy. But I think the part that goes “I am so lost without my place inside your heart, I won’t survive, I need to know you hear me…” is kind of weird.

6. Erase This
The tune is so distinctive. Well, yeah every tune of every track is different. But this one is so distinct.. Once you hear it, you will know that it’s from Erase This! A heavy track, yeah, and intense. “To believe that what we dreamed could ever come to life again..”

7. Lost in Paradise
The ballad of the album! It is so sad.. “All the promises I made, just to let you down, you believed in me but I’m broken..” I’d like to believe the idea that this song is how Amy feels about the fans, being away for five years from them.

8. Sick
A heavy track. Reminds me to Lacuna Coil in the beginning. But as Amy’s voice fills in, and the band goes on, I am sure it is Evanescence. It is a good song to sing along when you are angry ;) Sick of it all, sick of it all!

9. End of the Dream
The first verse is awesome. The song is good, heavy, and so third-album-ish :D I love the line “As much as it hurts, ain’t it wonderful to feel“.. Oh, and also “Follow your heart till it bleeds”

10. Oceans
I like the music. But I don’t really like the lyrics. But I like to sing along. That’s it.

11. Never Go Back
Heavy, I guess. I was getting tired listening to this for the first time. Maybe because its epicness and tightness, this song wears me out. Don’t get me wrong, it is a great song.

12. Swimming Home
I was surprised! The album, generally, is a whole new experience of Evanescence. And somehow, Swimming Home is another whole new experience. A great track (from Lillywhite sesion). Makes me curious. I was looking to the sky, when I knew I’d be swimming home.. Somehow reminds me to suicide.

bonus tracks

13. New Way to Bleed
One of my favorite! ;)

14. Say You Will
This track makes me happy. It is a very happy tune in Evanescence gallery.

15. Disappear
It has that piano part that Amy ever posted as a teaser video in twitter. My favorite line is, “I guess always dreamed that I would be the one to take you away from all this wasted pain.”

16. Secret Door
The harp song! It is so beautiful…..

My favorites are: Made of Stone, The Other Side, The Change and Lost in Paradise. But generally, I love all the tracks! I don’t want to say that I am disappointed at this album. I am not, at all. It is just a whole new experience of Evanescence, and it is still Evanescence. TOD was different from Fallen, so this third album would be disappointing if it is no different from TOD or Fallen. :) What’s your favorites?

Yup, my first ever complete rendering, using Google Sketchup and Vray (and Photoshop)..
It is an architect’s office, by the way.
These are part of my Digital Architecture final task. I’m still a noob, you see. But I hope I can learn some more. Let’s hunt some tutorials! :D

You are shown many-many responsibility and choices. And many times you neglect responsibility just to have choices. Although of course in the end, you have to take care of the responsibility. Is it a process of growing up?

The world just stops and you think how you want to be in high school all over again. Life was fabulous, and looking back, you can handle it all. Right now you are aware of choices. Life sometimes is fabulous, sometimes so plain. But you feel like you cannot handle it all, because you are aware of everything. Your senses are more sensitive than ever, and your thoughts go too thoughtful. You think too much and you begin to hate what you are doing.

You hate it; you are reluctant to do it all. Your stress bumps out in a negative way. Not in a positive way that had burned your spirit years back. You want it all back, the power to turn everything, from hatred to fear, into a fuel to your action. You want it all back, the gasoline to your confidence. Hence the frustration.

You yearn for freedom and control to your life and mind. You knock on every door and window, yet your heart hasn’t replied you back. It is locked inside and it has swallowed all the keys. Deep within her stomach, they rust and melt away. You are lost and the sky has turned black. But they say that the night is darkest just before the dawn.

“And I promise you, the dawn is coming,” – Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight

hands we held them
tied by imaginary strings
even from faraway
and in the deepest dark
those strings sparkled bright
like that mischievous smile of yours
like memories from a shining past
never to separate
held tight by strange ideals
stranger than humanity before us

you may fall
if you take a step wrong
the edge is an endless mirage
you see far beyond horizons
because the falls you can suffer
are endless as their depth
fall if you do
but those strings shall not break
they will guide me
to where you lay fallen

not the ashes on my skin
but it is one that is inside

and I am on the edge
If I fall, I fall
but I still have the chance to step behind
should I?

can I hold your hands
I feel filthy before you
will you let me fall?
or am I not allowed to

Copyright © Fransiska Damarratri 2011

in my dream I break my rosary
in my dream I am an atheist
although I remember so dear the night I hold the prayer
with the holy grains between my fingers
and my cheeks are wet of tears

in my dream, I don’t do solitude
instead I walk around half nude
with bunch of dancers behind me
I stroll around the city
although I know I have stretch marks, because I used to be fat
it is like a slap mark, telling the world you are punished
it is like a scar, telling the world you are injured

sometimes I am awake, but not for so long
because in a blanket of fear, lullaby is the song
and when I slumber, I do stumble
each word that I mumble is a sign that I will tumble

I am waiting for the waking up
you are so lucky that my door is opened

with the other doors, sometimes you have to knock
with the other doors, sometimes it has been locked
and nobody knows what is going on inside
the struggle when the blanket holds too tight

but why you never come
and make the blanket gone

Copyright © Fransiska Damarratri 2011

marine dimness was my blanket at daylight
marine dimness was my locket at bleak night

the firmament beholds me between the waves that goes and by
the sacrament torturing me as i rise to the auburn sky

the sand bed receives me
the sand whispers alters me
a flesh and a soul i then be
a lash to a soul that is me

flowing mercury out of my artery
shining pearly grey out of the moon shiny
to the cold deep black still water body
sacrifices we make are for goodness sake

the last dropplet of my tears vapors to thin air
slowly dancing high up like a white snake
leaving me slowly crashing into sand
to be a silverlining in the storm

sacrifices we make are for goodness sake…

Copyright © Fransiska Damarratri 2011